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CEO Best Practices: How to Handle Other People’s Disappointment

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Video transcript: hi it’s Brian I just got off the phone with a client a few minutes ago and we were talking about how to handle disappointment I mean not our own although that’s a good topic but the disappointment of others toward us so when we have to disappoint someone because of maybe they need to move positions because they’re not doing so well on this one and they need to move to another one in this case it was really about a bonus and the recipient of the bonus not really understanding how the taxes work and feeling disappointed that taxes would have to be paid it was kind of a it’s kind of a complicated bonus thing so it wasn’t the obvious here I give you a check for X dollars and you have to pay tax on it it it involves something else but that’s kind of neither here nor there what was being offered by the CEO my client was very fair and very reasonable the other person didn’t really understand the tax implications and was very disappointed and reflect projected that onto my client like oh gosh or you know you’re not being fair and kind of kind of working them a little bit and so he felt bad about that and so we had a conversation about well why should we take on other people’s disappointment on to ourselves why is that our problem why should we feel emotional or responsible about that for that and it’s you know people’s emotions at the end of the day people’s emotions belong to them we choose how we feel about things I know that’s a kind of a stretch but it is true I mean no one can and no-one can insult me I can only receive that instant and make that those words or those actions insulting it’s something that I decide I can have issues with disappointment because my expectations weren’t met even if they aren’t realistic or they’re kind of greedy you know I want more and I’m not getting it and so now I’m gonna feel disappointed hey that’s on the other people it’s not on us so I don’t you know we all we all have a little bit of a pleaser in us most of us do and that’s good you know love and be empathetic and gracious and polite and all that that’s good but we’re also professionals we’re running a business and so we have to do what’s right and what’s fair and what meets our standards our principles yes we’ll do that and if sometimes that means someone else is disappointed emotionally it’s like yeah you know I’m sorry you’re disappointed but I’m not taking that on I’m not gonna lose any sleep over it and I’m not gonna change my decision because frankly whether you like me or not at the end of the day it’s not what it’s about it’s about being fair being candid doing what’s right gracious all those wonderful things but I can’t be the guardian of your emotions so anyway we we all you know this is not huge news I don’t think we all know this intellectually but it’s hard to live it sometimes and so this little comment to you this little sharing with you is all about yes you know let’s redouble our efforts to be detached and to recognize that other people own their emotions just like we own ours so I don’t know if that’s helpful to you but it does come up a lot and if you want to discuss it just send me an email or a text or whatever happy to share with you alright bye

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